How to Pray?

Today I'm having trouble praying.  I just read the last section and commentary of Galatians 4.  It was great, as the first part of the book has been.  But my mind is all a-jumble, and I can't focus and concentrate.  I have so many things that I want to pray about, people, needs, desires, dreams, sins to confess, but I'm having trouble even getting started.  I close my eyes, and my mind wanders.  I open my eyes, and I see Russian grammar books all around me and start to think about all those verbs of motion bouncing around in my head looking for a place to land.  

So, I open the computer and begin to type to try to find focus.  I would write in my journal, but it's in the bedroom with my still-sleeping husband who needs to sleep because he had to pull an all-nighter to get some stuff done, and I don't want to disturb him by opening our squeaky door.

And since I don't think that many people read this blog anyway, I think I'll try to pray right here, forgetting that anyone else but God knows what's here.

Father in heaven,  I thank you for Christ.  I thank you that He obeyed You and came to earth and lived in the midst of sin though not sinning Himself.  I thank you that He died on the cross after perfectly keeping the law and therefore made my redemption and salvation possible in Your sovereign will.

I confess to You my sins of worry and anxiety right now.  I worry about my Russian.  I worry about having or not having another baby.  I worry about Isaiah's development.  I am not trusting You.  I do believe that with You all things are possible.  I do believe that you can do anything.  Please help my unbelief.  My sin of worry affects my marriage.  My sin of worry affects my mothering.  My sin of worry affects my friendships.  My sin of worry increases my selfishness and pride and desire for controlling everything myself.  I confess these sins to You as well.  I have seen over and over again the last few days just how impatient and selfish I am.  I get so easily "put out" when things don't go exactly as I want.  I begin to find fault with other people, usually my husband, when I don't get my way.  Father, please help me to have the mind of Christ, Who set aside everything for His people.  Father, please help me to love and respect my husband.  Please help me to build him up in the eyes of our son.  Please help me to not get annoyed when I "have to" do something that I think my husband should just know to do.  And please help me to see ways that I can help him without him having to ask me.  Please help me to make our home orderly so that things will be more easy to find.  I confess my desire to defend myself rather than accepting responsibility.  It is so much easier to find fault with someone else when the fault truly lies with me.  Please help me to take correction so that I can be more like Christ.

Father, I praise You for what You have done in me already.  I thank You for saving me and continuing to sanctify me.  Please help my unbelief.  Please purify me.  The desire for my own way is strong within me.  Please root out my selfishness and pride and help me to see the other people around me.  Please help me to communicate the good news of the gospel and what Christ has done!  I want to communicate it in my words and in my actions.

I think sometimes, Father, that though my words say that I am trusting only in Christ, my actions and my desires fight against those words.  I find myself still thinking in ways that imply an underlying belief that I can work for my salvation or that I can work to get better.  This is not true!  The good works that I do must all be from Your grace and mercy.  Left to myself, I would do the vilest of all vileness.  Anything "good" that I would do would be nothing but filthy rags!  Please take my broken mind and heart and mold them and shape them to think correctly and then to change my motives.  The good that I do is for Christ's glory and honor, not for my advancement or gain or glory.

I pray for my friends who are in many different situations Lord, some hurting, some rejoicing, some just going on from day to day.  Please comfort them where they have need.  Please draw them closer to You.

And for my Little Man who's now waking up, please give me wisdom to help him learn about You.  While I know that You do the work in men's hearts, I pray that You will use me as an instrument in Your hands to guide and teach him about You.  Please help him to love you with all of his heart and soul and mind and strength.

For my husband I pray peace and calm in the busy, busy schedule that is laid out before him.  Please help him as he prepares this sermon.  Please let the Russian flow easily from his tongue as he speaks Yours words and not his own.  Thank You for what You have done in him!  

I love You, Lord.  Please help me to love You more.

Amen.

Rest

In peace I will both lie down and sleep, for You alone, O LORD, make me to dwell in safety.  Psalm 4:8

I don't often have trouble sleeping, but when I do, I pray that God will bring this verse to my mind.  How wonderful that we have a God in whom we can completely trust and rest, even physically.  I pray that God will help me to live this before Isaiah, that He will help me to have a calm spirit even in the midst of difficult times.  I pray that even should I not be able to sleep, that those wakeful hours would be spent in prayer to Him for guidance or forgiveness or seeking wisdom.

When I Don't Know Why

Today I pray for calm.  There's not a storm, there's not a tempest in my life, but for some reason I'm feeling tremendous anxiety.  Lord, please help me to rest and trust in You, to know Your peace.

And while I have these feelings, please help me to be patient with my little one and not be easily frustrated.

Please help me to show Your love.

Oksana

I made a new friend.  Her name is Oksana.  She has a 7-month old little boy named Slava.  We've already had one playdate, Lord willing, with more to follow.  Thanks for praying for me!

Been a While

Ok, so just because I haven't been posting doesn't mean that I haven't been praying, I promise!  I must confess that I've been struggling with knowing what to do with this blog exactly.  I was trying to keep it personal and generic at the same time.  Not working too well.  My prayer life has also not been quite what I would like it to be, so I'm working on some things to help there, and I'm thinking of using this blog more for that purpose.  I don't plan on posting my prayers here, or anything quite that bold (or arrogant?), but I've got some things in the works that will help me be more diligent in my prayer times and to "pray without ceasing" (as I still try to figure out what that looks like!).

In the meantime, I've added a new prayer request:

Anna

Anna lives in WA and is struggling with many things.  She's my husband's cousin (no that's not something she's struggling with).  She's currently not living at home with her husband and children.  She is easily angered and has trouble keeping a job.  First I pray for God to save her!  True change can only take place and last when we are filled with the Spirit and look to God for our daily perseverance.  

But I do pray that God will restore her relationships with her family and help her in her work, too.  But her heart is more important, as are the hearts of her children and husband, and so that is the most important request.

Catherine H

Our sister in Christ, Catherine went home to be with her Savior yesterday afternoon.  Her mom and sisters were with her as she entered her eternal home.

You would be blessed to read her mom's post about their last moments with Catherine.

Catherine H

Our dear friends the Huttons are in the process of watching their sweet daughter Catherine die.  Though I'm sure they take great comfort in knowing that she loves her Lord and Saviour, I cannot imagine the pain that they are experiencing.

We are praying for grace and strength.